knowing the problem is only half the battle

Ok so for years I have realized that having a relationship with my parents is not going to be a supportive emotional type so I took what I could get. Now for them that is supportive financially. I know many would see this as not being an issue, but I have noticed by giving in to that need to have them support me in any way they can I gave up my power in that dept. Not a good thing when you want to be self supportive that way. I know for years I have struggled with this. Fear that if I don't have them this way I just won't have them in anyway. I know in the back of my head this helping out was filling this need for parenting in anyway I could get, but now I see what I had done and am ready to go into that uncharted waters and find a new relationship with my parents without the fear of not having them in anyway. My issue now is how? The funny thing is the more I dive into this unchartered territory the more love I find for my parents and for myself. I think the more I heal and learn the more I realize how lucky I am to be the person I am. My mom right now is sooooo fearful that I will blame her for things way back when that she is starting on the nasty talk. At first I will admit this took me back and brought lots of fear out for me, but now I feel so strong for me and so sad for her. How awful a life must be that you are so fearful of being wrong that you must make everyone out to be against you. I have always been honest with my kids when I mess up. I'm human and I'm sorry I tell them and then I add I will try to do better next time because you deserve the best mom possible. To me that is a great lesson for them because I never want them to feel they have to be perfect, but keep trying to be your best. I'm seeing now more and more how much I learned from my mom. I think I am the mom I am today because of her and I think I'm a pretty good mom. Now just to get past this other crap. lol