Same, but different

This weekend was one of those eye openers for me. Having Brenden have a taste of how I grew up and hearing his prospective was so good for me. Mike and I discussed it some over dinner on Saturday and Mike had me laughing. He said how that he does not like that Brenden is going through what he is, but knowing Brenden it will be good for him to help him grow and he is a good kid with a great head on his shoulders. : ) He then went on to say our middle guy could NEVER do this because it would crush him. Soooo true because he is our guy that is hard on himself and we work soooo hard on making him stronger and it has been working and the last thing we need to do is ever do that to him. lol Now with our youngest he said we will have to make them take him for a summer because he will so let them know how it is. lol This cracked me up because again soooo beyond true.

I was feeling so sick going to my parents on Friday, but once I got there it was so different. Now I had not felt that feeling of seeing them since my 20's, but that trip stuck with my mom was a definite breaking point with me. I guess sometimes you have to go there to really get past some stuff. Anyway, I got there and they started talking about stuff and it was like they were actors in a movie. My Dad was playing his dad/grandpa part and my mom the happy I so want you to be my friend needy part. I have to say it just made me take a deep breath and think "I'm going to be ok". Heck I'm me trying to be a better me and not playing any part.

Before now I thought I saw my parents and even though I went through a lot I just thought to have a relationship with them I just have to get past it. They were that way because of things they went through and at least for me I'm working on healing instead of living in the pain. Thought I was past it because I had a pretty good relationship with them despite everything. Then I got trapped with the mom I grew up with to DE. lol I always tell my niece that when you live with crazy you have to either become it or leave it. I'm deciding to put a healthy me near it once in a while. lol It is hard to explain, but I was at my mom's yesterday and I was back to being able to be around her, but this time it was different. I wasn't just getting past, I was there, strong the adult and this time being the adult around my mom really didn't bother me instead I thought "thank you". : )